Sunday, August 22, 2010

How My Education Made Me the Well Rounded Human Being I AM Today or Alternate Title: How I made the useless classes I had to take in College work for Me

Ancient Greek history: I remember this class taught by an ivy leaguer, Mr. Pommeles, he looked a lot like the actor David Spade, went to one of his workshops and he gave his dissertation while a hot, leggy blond sat on his lap. He saw my disgust and in the next class made me draw a map of the Ancient State of Athens. I drew the only State that I knew, New Jersey, shaped like a legionnaire. I failed the assignment. Passed his class with a C.
How I rationalized that class:

Linked the song of the Sirens in the Odyssey with the missteps of senior management for my Strategic Business class final project, teacher gave me an A-, should have gotten an A, but I left early one class for a wedding and I knew he held that against me. Either that or he overheard me say that his teeth are yellow, his skin a pasty white and his white shirts are grey.

Math- Used the relationship between heat and pressure, as in boiling water at a faster rate, by linking it to the proportional relationship between employee empowerment and good customer service for my Business of Organizations class. Teacher gave me a B. I must admit it was a stretch.

Art- Used the analogy of the Crayola Crayon colors for a specific generation (periwinkle blue, sunflower yellow, long retired) as a philosophical foundation for updating my skills (part of my biographical statement to get into graduate school) it worked, bad part got stuck with an advisor named Bill Clinton, called my job one day and said this is Bill Clinton, calling for Eileen, and he got hung up on. I can only guess that the operator votes Republican.

Physics/American History- I combined the passion for career development with the fear of science by linking Dr. Richard Feydyn’s 1959 speech at Cal Tech on Nanotechnology with a three step career development plan. What I am most proud of is that I used a pivotal letter written by Dr. Martin Luther King to explain the physics term of “stretch tension”! I gave myself a pat on the back for that one.

Which is why my education made me the well rounded human being that I am today. lol.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My Workout Routine

Back in the 1970's, long before the workout guru's Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons, my sister and I moved to the groove of record spinners on Soul Train.

In those days,I was a sophmore in high school and my sister, unemployed, spent her life lying on the sofa smoking cigarettes and sipping from the bottle of vodka she had hidden behind the sofa, she even went so far as to attach a string to avoid moving the sofa to retrieve it. One day she had me called down to the principal's office to tell me to bring home a pack of Marlboro's and a six pack of Miller High Life. I was traumatized, I thought someone had died in the family.

On Saturday, we put on our workout clothes and danced to Soul Train with the ultra hip, sultry stylings of Don Cornelius. We did the bump, the hustle and some strange version of the funky chicken. We worked up a sweat, and celebrated with a high carb dinner of spaghetti spatini and garlic bread, it was a zero sum gain.

Now, all of America has Dancing with the Stars, and I must say Tom Bercheron can't hold a candle to DC. Don Cornelius had it all, style, sex appeal, the voice. Not to mention the best music and dancers on the west coast. No need for the superficial glitter, fake tans, exposed midrift or effeminate judges. We heard rumors that the Soul Train dancers were professionals, engenues trying to break into show business. Maybe so, but the show was damn good and after a little swig of vodka and a couple of cigarettes, my sister and I could busta move with the best.

Love, Peace and Soul