Wednesday, January 26, 2011

DON'T IRK A FAT CHICK

Yesterday, I stopped in a diner to have a sandwich for lunch. I sat at the counter because it was empty and I needed some peace and quiet. But the guy behind me in a booth, was talking so loud on his phone that, I felt like turning around and asking him, "hey mister, you have ringing in your ears or are you just rude?" Are we so insecure that we can't sit alone and eat a sandwich. Will the world think we are losers with no friends. Perhaps, but who cares, the world don't pay my bills!

I stopped in Lane Bryant to buy a bra and was greeted by a short Hispanic man. I said," I'm here to buy a bra, can I get measured?" It was at that moment that I saw the measuring tape around his neck! "Sure, I can measure you.", he replied with a thick accent. "Are they on sale?" I asked, "No, not today" "Oh, I said with relief, I'll come back on a sale." Thinking to myself, nice try fella. Guess he isn't working at Lane Bryant for the discount.

I always have dreams that my teeth are falling out and it is disturbing. I also have dreams that my house is floating away. Or that my dogs got out and they are running down a busy highway, with me running after them. The worst dream of all is that I am in college with 4 classes scheduled and I can't find my locker with my books. Sometimes I have dreams that take place in a house that I once lived in long ago. I often wonder why we dream of those things so trivial? I know that dreams have a deeper meaning and we could delve into the psych of our dreams as deep dark fears realized. But, let's face it, teeth falling out and misplaced text books is hardly something to worry about. I often wonder what the President dreams about? Do you think he wakes up in a cold sweat, dreaming that he is sleeping beside Sarah Pallin or Joan Rivers? Or that his Mother is really Carrot Top and he is a ventriloquist in a Vegas act? If one day, I were to meet President Obama, that is the first question I would ask. What is your worst nightmare? And does your health care bill have a good dental plan?